This is a little peace drawing to myself.
A reminder that this is the good feeling I seek.
And a pointer that only I am responsible to give myself that peace.
I've been spring cleaning the last few days and while scrubbing away I thought of that calm, content and curious creature I once took for granted - a younger me with a crisp and clear mind. I've let life get so busy in the past that I broke down under the pressure and I am really fine now. Life is busy again which is good in many ways but when you add to that the time spent on screen each day - eyes staring fixed at the bright light, refreshing, updating and taking in an absurd amount of other people's thoughts and lives, jaw and shoulders tensed, forgetting myself, how I sit and breathe - I do wonder " Is this the difference between now and then?"
Don't get me wrong. Social media is fun and has been fundamental to me going freelance. I'm on it right now in order to reach you! It's an awesome tool - but it is just that - a tool. I never decided for it to become an attachment to my mind an body, something that is somehow missing when it's not there. That comfort blanket in quiet moments, the button you press to see if it counts, the thing you reach for without a second though. Do I often do anything in life without deciding to do it? I don't think so! Why is this different?
I think I'm getting careful. In fact I think it is unhealthy and I have a plan. I'm giving myself a week off social media until my birthday next Friday. I'm going to delete all apps from my phone and I'm going "wildish" as for that a forest isn't always needed. When I return I will make a plan on how to use it better and like the wonderful tool it can be!
See you all next week! Wildish Sandra